I remember back in 2003, in a jungle-densed campsite. Food surrounded by flies, jam that tasted like antibiotics and a 100 campers waiting expectantly in a small hall... waiting to meet God. Youth Camp 2003.

My hands shiver as I write this. For it means so much to me. 

I remember as Ps Rick Hulburt formally invited God into the hall, as we campers lined up in two lines to welcome him... and later as we all knelt down on our knees in reverence and honour... that night I gave my life fully to God, accepting him as my Lord and Saviour. 'Till now I can still picture vividly everything I saw there. It was the glory of God poured out like rain in a desert.

It was then the battle begin. The battle againts sin.

Paul wrote the following in Romans 7

14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin.
15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

……

24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

Reading those verses and I’m like I can so relate to Paul on that. Sometimes the christian life feels like.... It’s so discouraging when we constantly fail. It feels so hopeless. I guess much of it is because we get the whole idea wrong. Today I discovered the following.

1.      Christianity isn’t going to make you perfect and righteous on earth.

2.      Christianity ain’t about constant defeats. Meaning we never overcome sin. It ain't that.

3.      Righteousness and being able to stand before God is through Jesus who became sin for us that we may be declared righteous and stand before God. Justified by faith alone.

And oh, those statements can are so controversial. That’s why I said 2007 for me is about a controversial war. It’s a war to fight endlessly for perfection (Jesus said be perfect as your Father in heaven is) yet knowing I will never be perfect ‘till the day God gives me a new body in heaven.

So, why do I strive toward it? Because I know that I will be granted it one day – God’s promise of a new me. And there is progress. How far? I will never know. But I know it’s futher than I can see. So, I’ll fight on – waiting on God.

“No eye has seen… what God has prepared for those who love him”

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”Isaiah 40:31

I would like to thank the following for helping me in growing in God…

Last Sunday, 31^st Dec 2006, Ps Albert preached on of the best sermons I have ever heard in my life attending FGAC. It was about overcoming the world. What I just wrote in my entry is related to it. Ps Albert, thanks for sermons that have sound theology and good insight. They have been an encouragement.

Ps Cowan has been more than just a pastor to me. He also has been a great accountability partner who has always encouraged me to press on. I must thank him for sharing his life experiences with me.

I have been very much influence by a very great man of God. John Piper, a man that has made the bible such an interesting thing to read. One who has inspired me to pursue God like never before. First met him on Passion Network (www.268generation.com), and then started to check out great stuff from his web at (www.desiringGod.org)

My Dad & Mum. My dad, for being available to talk to about things of God - sometimes till the wee hours of the morning. My mum, for being patient with me, and always reminding me that anointing comes with obedience to God and that I shouldn’t waste my life away.

Also, to the great pastors and teachers at FGAC, Louie Giglio (268 generation), Sherman Kuek, Joel Houston & Marty Sampson (United), Sunday school & youth group teachers, older youth who are living examples of God-seeking people (Francis, JoshYeoh, Pin Lee). Thank you. For knowing God is the greatest gift I have ever received.

 

 

Switchfoot's new album "Oh, gravity" beat Hinder's "Extreme Behaviors" to get 18th place on billboard top 200 albums. OH YEAH BABY! GO SURFING SINGING BOYS, beat Hinder of the track...

http://billboard.com/bbcom/charts/chart_display.jsp?f=The+Billboard+200&pageNumber=Top+11-50&g=Albums

Songs I Love! Judson's Top 10 Chart
1. How To Save A Life - The Fray (No. 5  on Hot 100 Billboard)
2. Oh, Gravity - Switchfoot
3. Dirty 2nd Hands - Switchfoot
4. Some song about being human (forgot the title) - John Legend
5. Let It Go - Kirk Franklin (Hero)
6. Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne... juz heard it today on fly or hitz
7. Im'ma Shine - YoungBloodz (Step Up Soundtrack)
8. Made - Jamie Scott (Step Up) - careful of the lyrics though
9. Out of Control - John Reuben
10. Wordplay - Jason Mraz
11. Arithmetic - Brooke Fraser
12. I So Hate Consequences - RelientK
13. From The Inside Out - Joel Houston (United)

Songs That Are Just Plain Weird
1. Buttons - Pussy Cat Dolls
2. Lips of an Angel - Hinder, oh I So hate this song
3. London Bridge & Fergalicios - Fergie, Daniel Teoh sings it well and funny though..haha
4. The Goat Song by Gwen Stefani.. eww... 

Hitz & FlyFM need to work on their playlist... really...
Too much repetition of plain weird songs...

May I speak to those who think Christianity is a standard of perfection
A standard we must achieve in this life,
And find ourselves feeling so hopeless,
For knowing we will never achieve it. Never!

May I speak to those who think,
That they have gotten it together,
Who show their pious faces at church,
Lifting their hands up,
For they are so proud of their righteousness.

Sola Fide,
Justification by faith alone.

Oh, where is simple humble hopefullness?
Humble that accepts his wretched, sinful self.
Hopeful that works his faith in trembling.

May I speak to myself.
For I too, have been at both ends. 

(Written because of the works of people like John Piper, CS Lewis, John Owen, JI Parker, Josh McDowell, Phillip Yancey, Louie Giglio)
__________________________________________________________

 

A few situations the last few years have cause me to say this.

"There is a DIRE NEED FOR HOPE"

Assurance is hope.
Assurance of our salvation NOT BY WHAT WE DO!
But SOLA FIDE...

What Jesus has done for us.

No matter what we do, or will do.
No matter how much, or how often we do.

"Wherever sin abounds, grace abounds more" Romans

___________________________________________________________

And how does it give us hope?
For when we know we are right with God through Jesus. We will stand up again, full of strength and passion to continue the FIGHT after we have fallen.

Though we cannot do it. Jesus has done it already. 

Keep fighting. There is ALWAYS HOPE.  

 

Dare You To Move
Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
(Welcome to the imperfect world, where it there is hopelessness, regret, depression, disatisfaction, failures, hurt and pain)
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
(Is there ever hope?)

Welcome to the fallout
"For all has fallen short of the glory of God - Romans
The heart is deceitful above all else - Jeremiah"
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
(Romans 7:8 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.)
Between how it is and how it should be
(Situations that done go well)

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
(Wonderful story of the purchase of our freedom)
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
(Forgiveness for sin is already there for justification is through Jesus, who has already paid the price)

(Romans 5:20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.)

Where can you run to escape from yourself?
(From shame, guilt, failures etc.)
Where you gonna go?
(Run to TV, human relationships, food, internet, sex? Those will continue to disappoint...)
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
(For all our sins, today and if it ever happens again are forgiven)
Today never happened before

(Romans 6:1 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer)

__________________________________________________________

The climax is the chorus, a challenge to FIGHT ON TILL THE END, knowing that Christ in us is the hope of glory.

So, how do we "live like today never happened"?
How do we "lift ourselves up from the floor" after we have failed?

We do so with the knowledge that our righteouness is JESUS and that we are placed in right standing with God. Then shame and guilt has no hold over us. We rise like lions again full of strength from the knowlege of God to continue the fight to be transform to be more like Christ and have OUR JOY FULL IN GOD!

Why did God call David a man after his heart?
Answer: He was so quick to repent, admitting his weakness and unability to be perfect and LIFT HIMSELF UP FROM THE FLOOR to continue fighting for his perfect joy in God.

Oh, this is why Switchfoot is one of my favourite bands - songs full of meaning and depth.

Note: Who said theology was unpractical and boring?

It is said there is a time for everything.

I'm eagerly waiting for the time, when I will be excited for things again. Times where I wake up in the morning feelin all ready to enjoy the day. Times where I joyfully wait for the next day, knowing it will bring better times.

It's like the joy when waiting for your favourite band to get on stage. The happiness when a little cute girl comes running to you offering you candy. It's like the thrill of driving at 160km/h down a highway. It's like eagerly waiting beside your phone for a reply. It's the joy of having helping someone become a great person. Like sitting on the beach on a beautiful saturday morning watching the sun rise. It's like eating "Uncle Bugger" after a week of fasting. It's like listening to songs from the latest album from your favourite band. Songs that are so meaningful and makes you all inspired again. Movies that challenged you to pick yourself up and shine! It's like seating together with long-time friends and laughing together, sometimes over the silly things we all did. It's like when she/he gave you the second look. It's watching a 100 young people lift their hands in worship knowing that they mean it in their hearts (Youth Camp '04 was the best, and March 11 '05 too). It's like discussing with friends about the exciting, radical, humanly-impossible things we could do. It's like discovering God and how great he really is.

Oh, I wait patiently for times like this to come again. Also, when it will forever be like this. 

 
Official Movie Site
http://www.freedomwriters.com/

Watch Trailer
http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/freedomwriters/trailer1/

Erin Gruwell’s passion to become a teacher is soon challenged by a group of Black, Latino, and Asian gangbangers who hate her even more than each other. When Erin begins to listen to them in a way no adult has ever done, she begins to understand that for these kids, getting through the day alive is enough they are not delinquents but teenagers fighting a war of the streets that began long before they were born. Erin gives them something they never had from a teacher before respect.

Official Site
http://www.freedomwritersfoundation.org/site/c.kqIXL2PFJtH/b.2259975/k.BF19/Home.htm

Watch the movie. Read the book. I am yet to, but I will. I have this feeling that this would be really good. "My dream is to be free" is the lyrics of the theme song. Free from gang fights, drugs, racism, alcohol, depression and free to be happy. 

"From now on, that person you were, that person turns over." 

 

I have not done digital artwork in quite a while, but today I suddenly had inspiration. So, tell me what you think? Artwork dedicated to the three cra-Z, cool dudes.

Wanna desktop background? Tag me. 

I call this the "Peter Syndrome".

It's a disease. A human failure to be consistent. It also happens to be what I am going through.

It's like this. At one moment I'm all excited and passionate about living. And the next moment I'm down licking my wounds of self-pity?

So was Peter, Jesus's famous "loud-mouthed" disciple. He was declaring Jesus as the Mesiah, and declaring his love for God and his willingness to die and guess what... the next moment he's denying Christ.

Scene two, Peter speaks to the church of Jerusalem about God's desire to reach out to the gentiles. He eats and fellowships with the gentiles in Antioch. Then one day, a bunch of guys from Jerusalem came over who did not agree with the "God has also chosen the gentiles" thing and Peter avoids the gentile christians. Paul corrects him in one of his letters. Same problem. Twice. Even after he (Peter) was restored by Christ.

Oh, what hypocrites we are. What a hypocrite I am. This is more than mood-swings or hormones. I think we shouldn't blame biology. It's our inability. It's our imperfection.

Currently listening to: Let your love be strong - Switchfoot's "Oh Gravity"
Currently reading: My blog
Currently watching: My computer screen
Currently feeling: feelin' guilty...

"A blood diamond (also called a conflict diamond or a war diamond) is a diamond mined in a war zone and sold, usually clandestinely, in order to finance an insurgent or invading army's war efforts."
Wikipedia 

I say without doubt and with conviction that this is the BEST MOVIE of 2006. Never before I have watched a film that has managed to capture the reality of our world, with all it's raw evil, with glimpses of hope, with issues of hate and forgiveness....

I must say that as I watched the show, I felt what Jeremiah said when he wrote that the heart of man is evil and none can comprehend it. Watching child soldiers shoot another, innocent civilians tortured... raped. The lust of man never has a limit does it?

(Diamond mining labour in Sierra Lone)

Yet, throughout the entire movie, I saw God through his creation. A father forgiving a child, a woman fighting to make a difference, and a man who chose his consience over his lust.

The movie addresses raw reality yet provides hope. The hope we've been searching for. 

 

If you can, do take time to watch the film. 

__________________________________________________________

I've always wondered, even before watching this movie. Why does God use us imperfect beings? Did not Romans say that all have fallen short of the glory of God and all are sinners? Is not the heart of man evil beyond comprehension according to Jeremiah and a host of other prophets?

I remember back in 2004, I wrote a short blog entry "Belief". It goes like this...

"Belief (Sep 26 2004)

Will you die for someone you don't believe in? Of course not. A non-christian wouldn't die for Jesus. Even 'christians' don't. It takes conviction and a strong foundational belief of Jesus, before we would die for him. And so, I was just thinking. Would Jesus, the Son of the Living God die for someone he didn't believe in?

Think about it. He believes in you. He believes you can make it. And he's here to help you. So, there's no reason left for us to say we can't do it. There's no reason left for us to say we don't want to make it. There would be breach of trust... 'cause he died for you."

The blog was written more than 2 years ago and I must add on to it. Jesus decided to use us because he knew that amidst all the evil and wickedness there was some good in us. And that good would only surface to its fullest when Christ IN US, the hope of GLORY. That was why God sent Jonah to Ninevah.

Therefore, God. I repent of my sin. My greed, wickedness and lust. Make me a person who would care for others and for the things that truly matter in this world. Love, grace and justice.